Alex Aimee Kist

I have learned so much from just this one text. Something that sticks with me the most is a conscious awareness of anxiety traps. Lately, I have been falling victim to them despite this awareness. As we will later discuss, Pirsig suggests that working things out on paper can be a freeing experience. Of course, as a writer, I have to agree. So I wanted to take a step in the right direction. 

Anxiety Traps

One of the first ideas that truly struck me in Zen was that of an anxiety trap. Pirsig describes this as an obstacle people face as they approach a project. It can cause them to seize up, to stall. They don’t start the project because they fear it. 

“Anxiety, the next gumption trap, is sort of the opposite of ego. You’re so sure you’ll do everything wrong you’re afraid to do anything at all. Often this, rather than “laziness,” is the real reason you find it hard to get started. This gumption trap of anxiety, which results from over motivation, can lead to all kinds of errors of excessive fussiness… The best way to break this cycle, I think, is to work out your anxieties on paper. Read every book and magazine you can on the subject. Your anxiety makes this easy and the more you read the more you calm down. You should remember that it’s peace of mind you’re after and not just a fixed machine.”

Now, Pirsig is approaching the subject from the perspective of someone wanting to fix their motorcycle. But his guidance remains pertinent for all projects. In fact, it is something I face quite frequently when it comes to writing. The anxiety starts eating away at my will to set pen to paper (or more accurately finger to keyboard). I get worked up about whether or not I’ll do a poem justice, to the point where I cannot start. So, I’ve decided to expand on how I fight back against this gumption trap. 

Fighting Back

I tend to agree with Pirsig. The easiest way to free up an anxiety trap is to write about it. But, when writing is the very thing you’re anxious about… well, the situation is not ideal. So, for those who cannot adopt journaling to solve their problems, here are a few tips. 

Reading

Pirsig’s next piece of advice is to read everything you can on the subject you’re avoiding. As you read, you pick up pieces of the author. Their confidence, even just the confidence to publish on the subject, can begin to inspire you. Or perhaps it is your own want to emulate their success that begins to ease the panic. For me, as I consume as much poetry as I can, there is just an undeniable spark that lights inside me. I think, perhaps, it is an understanding that I am not alone. That this writer likely faced a gumption trap of their own and overcame it. Maybe I can too. 

Mixing It Up

Sometimes all you need is a new perspective. By doing something that is not a part of your usual routine, and yet is not as intimidating as your anxiety trap, you can almost trick your brain into starting fresh. My impulse is typically to hit a park or a coffee shop. I start slow. I give myself time to settle in, people watch for a while. I try to imagine what each passer-by is going through – what their anxiety trap is based around and whether or not they’ve beaten it yet. Before I know it, my mind is wandering and thinking up ideas I cannot wait to write down. 

Finding a Community

Sometimes, the idea of doing something alone can be compounded by your anxiety trap. You can start to feel isolated by your own fears. There is, therefore, an easy solution. Find others who can help you get through it. This can come in many forms. It could be someone stuck in the same trap as you are. Or perhaps it is someone who has overcome it and can provide some insight. Maybe they have no connection to your anxiety trap, but can provide an ear to your struggles. 

My community, a group of writers I met at Neil Hilborn’s Writing Circle, is what pulls me through the worst of my anxiety traps. I am more grateful than I could possibly express for the kindness and motivation they pour into my life. And that brings me to my last piece of advice. 

Kindness

When push comes to shove, you need to add more kindness into your life. Not just from others, but from yourself. Anxiety feeds not just on our fears, but on our willingness to degrade ourselves. So, when those anxiety traps come around, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Be patient. Know that there is a key that will unlock whatever cage is holding you back. You will write the poem, finish the project, make the decision. You will do what you need to do. Just place a bit of trust in yourself. 

If you’re looking to find some motivation, I deeply hope you’ll peruse my page and take a look at my past work. And, should you have any questions, please feel free to get in touch.